How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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