Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just high enough for therapy.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
