I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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