Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
