Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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