you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
