handjob tips. give me some.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize