I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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