Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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