Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
