i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
