u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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