He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
