you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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