sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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