Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
