i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Congratulations! We have a period
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