The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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