i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just pee around me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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