I looked at my own cervix.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
