You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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