I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
