Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
