It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
