If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
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