Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
