The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
