There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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