I hate your face
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
