We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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