Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
