I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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