Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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