I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
