I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
