Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
