I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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