Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I can't put those talents on a resume
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
this is an emotional support booty call
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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