I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
