dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm at about main and main street
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
