have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
