Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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