we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize