i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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