There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
