my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He shit in the fireplace
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