Farmville is her only friend.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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