I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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