love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
