whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
