Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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