Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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