Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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