The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
