Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
