I'm going to jail i love you
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
