Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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