its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
