break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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