last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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