the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Randomize