I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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