What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
