She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
